CLUB KRTIC

Editor/Publisher:E. A. Herbert
Executive Publisher:W.Smith, Jr.
Business Director/Co-Editor:Evelyn Mary
Writers:J. Miller, Z. Evans, E. Jackson
Art/Layout/Graphics:Got Them Graphics
E-mail: igotthem@bigfoot.com

Club Kritic would like to thank Club Elevate, Temple of Boom, Covered Wagon, 360 Degrees, Cream of Beat, Sophie's, "Q" and The Usual.
We also appreciate the cooperation of, KALX, KHTK, KPFA, KPOO, KSCU, KSJS, KUSF & KZSU.
Last, but most important, we thank the readers and supporters. LEGAL $#!+:
No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from Club Kritic.
Copyright 1997
COMMENTS, CONCERNS & SUGGESTIONS WELCOME
CLUB KRITIC
P.O. BOX 40041
BERKELEY, CA 94704
phone: 510.336.0900
fax: 510.530.8600
email: ck-hnic@msn.com

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Inaugural Issue July & August 1997

Club Kritic Mission Statement
Underground Clubs
A.D.A.P.T. Analysis
The Butter Grading System
Public and College Radio When to Tune In!!!!
Cover Story :Mind Motion--DJ of the Summer!

MISSION STATEMENT

The Club Kritic (CK) is a newsletter that will soon expand to become a magazine. It is dedicated to the underground and is for people who want the truth about life outside corporate America. The underground is where free expression of all art forms started, yet money seems to corrupt many a media, be it television, radio or written publications. Once you have made money your primary motive, you have sold out.
CK will not sell out! Our primary motive is to give you the truth about the underground club scene in the Bay Area and beyond, the truth about on the edge music, the truth about radio stations that don't play the same music over and over and over. We will do this, but we won't be able to do this alone. We will need constant feedback on what we say, what we believe and where we should go to get the truth. With the people in the place where the universe should orbit, we will do this and succeed, not simply monetarily, but soulfully. Thank you for supporting our cause.

E.A. HERBERT
Publisher/Editor in Chief
Email Club Kritic Magazine

CLUB ELEVATE--UP OR DOWN?

This is Positively (Red) a club on Saturday night with Supreme sounds and people intelligent enough to have uplifting conversations. Elevate at Annie's is that place. Located near Market Street on the corner of an alley bizzy enough to have a name, Stevenson Street. Stevenson is the last street you hit before running into Market, going up Third.
The underground club (literally underground) had a wide variety of people. I attended the much publicized July 5th after Independence Day Party and was pleased at the lovely and world wide known celebrities in the house. It was no surprise to me when I recognized local NFL players and radio personalities who came for the atmosphere, not because they were gettin' a check.

Upon my arrival, I was greeted by a few pleasant and professional security guards who checked my ID (because I look young) and frisked me because I have been known to carry around rocket launchers. After my journey down the marble like stairs, I paid my admission and made a bee line for the bar. I am sorry to say the liquor line was quite thick. This needs improvement! Anyway, I had my usual and ventured through the pleasant smelling crowd noddin' my head to Tracy Lee lookin' for a partner to get down with. There were so many to choose from so I asked the lady who was wearing Chanel. Damn, it was hot! My rayon shirt was no help and the AC must have been on vacation. Nonetheless, me, Tracy Lee and Chanel #5 got freaky that night. I would go into more detail, but that would place this publication into another section.

All in all the club was fun and the music was cool. The admission was more than worth it and the drinks were not watered down. The Elevate flyer states this is happening every Saturday night, which is good. San Francisco can always benefit from a positive club where educated good looking people can wind down and have fun. For more information call the Original Line 415.764.0389. Elevate @ Annie's, 20 Annie Street, S.F.
Thanks goes out to the staff of Elevate and Annie's for their hospitality.

UPDATE:

I was at Annie's on August 23 of this year and yes I must say it still has stayed consistent. I have noticed that the Original DJs{positivbely Red, DJ Supreme, CJ Flash] have been listed on several flyers- could this be due to the success of Elevate? Time will tell.

COMMENTARY:
Here at Club Kritic we use a unique club grading system, it's A.D.A.P.T., an abbreviation for Atmosphere, DJ, Alcohol, People and Threads. Bust how it's used.

Atmosphere: It was cool, at times I found women actually looking at me.
DJ's: The music selection's good, the super-duper scratchin' could be ghost at times.
Alcohol: The line's entirely tooooo long--Could be the bartenders.
People: They were peaceful and attractive, little to no attitudes being flexed.
Threads: The dress code is wack, no tennis shoes or hats (even derbies). No sports wear, even Polo Sport shit that costs $150.00 and is hella saucy. Wake up Elevate staff, thugs don't wear Ralph Lauren gear.
FINAL ANALYSIS: I can't believe it's not Butter!! It has all the ingredients but falls just a little short of Imperial.

TEMPLE OF BOOM

Temple of Boom! Intelligence is viewed as what? The Pirate DJs are intelligent. With the latest addition of underground Hip Hop Spots, The Temple of Boom! They have once again demonstrated that you can have a house party with one-thousand plus people and Mom's crystal punch bowl didn't come up missing. I attended the last two functions, as I attempt not to miss them, the vibe was good and the choice of beats was better. TOB is not as well known as the Cream of Beatparties, but just as obese, giving you something that the Cream is gradually losing, "The Basement Effect". The Basement Effect is what we here at CK love to lust after.
OK! I arrived with several buddies (inside joke) and we were late as usual, 12:30 am. The line was to the donut shop and the usual loiters without proper ID and patience stood near the front pleading their case. I waited my turn and my Johnnie Cochran type skills persuaded the competent security to let us in (lookin out). Around the corner, up the stairs past the ticket booth and the ticket guy (wusup), and then it came--the atomic heat. It was like stepping out of an air-conditioned building into Atlanta type summer humid heat. I eventually made my way up to the DJ booth to thank Mind Motion for the invitation. It was reported that the bar did well, as Chris, aka Dbow, Stolied everybody out. B.A.B.S., CK's Executive Editor missed this extravaganza, but the rest of the staff didn't. Thanks goes out to Shy Boy for ground transportation, and Da Wathca' for looking.

UPDATE:
I went to the Temple of Boom on Friday the 8th, upon my entering the King Street club I was surprised at the lack of patrons on hand. The time I arrived was 11:30pm, prime time for Pirate DJ loyal followers, but there was no line. This is a good sign and bad sign. Good because this means all the fake ass party goers were at some crossover jam doin the Macarena, this includes the knuckle heads. This keeps the Temple of Boom strictly underground. The negative effects of this is people will think twice before returning. Hopefully, the real people will continue to come and the "Busters" will remain home or at the cross over jams.

COMMENTARY:
A.D.A.P.T.
Atmosphere: Cool, pleasant.
DJs: At the August 8th date Mind Motion & Ivan were absent, this could be the reason behind the weak turnout. Selector did his job well.
Alcohol: No problems with a line at either joints, legit mixture of sprits and liquor, lots of unnecessary ice.
People: Real Hip Hoppers, good female to male ratio.
Threads: All the Pirate Party's have no specific dress code, just don't attend in a Armani or Donna Karen fit.
FINAL ANALYSIS:
I can't believe it's not Imperial yet. The Temple of Boom has the potential to be like the Cream of Beat's of old. Keep supporting them.

SOPHIE'S SOUL SOUP

Sophie's Soul Food--no it's not the latest upscale restaurant but rather " A Club for Ladies and Gentleman". Put on by Spot Party, this "spot" had the Das Klub style with Cream of Beat flavor. I, being skeptical, was invited by some regular Spot Party goers. They expressed that it was cool and laid back. I didn't take any chances, and went alone, for fear of being 'whorided' by my peers. I was captivated by the wide array of colorful outfits and personalities. Spinning favorable sounds was, yes, a Pirate DJ, Ivan, who had no problem keeping heals, toes and ear holes happy.
This exclusive promotion goes on @ Big Heart City in S.F. on Friday nights. I, myself, enjoyed it so much I attended the next two Fridays and the vibe remained consistent. The only thing that changed was my reason for attending the last two times was to "tear shit up" in a positive manner. I attend several functions, clubs and parties. If one can get me to come back, on my own time, it is a definite "Kritic Classic". For booking information regarding special events for yourself or your company call:
415.346.SPOT.
WWW.NETNOIR.COM/SOPHIES

CREAM OF BEAT Update

Went to the Cream Of Beat on the 31st of August--it confirmed my sentiments. It was deep with males. Males who were on the hunt for c**t. There were a few loyal female followers, but no where as many as from the past. The past meaning at the Crash Palace, now that was the true meaning on "CREAM" of Beat. Fortunately, it was relatively peaceful with one or two incidents of testosterone floundering and words being exchanged, but with the XXXXXXXL security, it was contained quickly.
Announcement One: All those who are on the guest list please arrive before midnight. I didn't and had to wait for 45 minutes to get in.

COMMENTARY:
A.D.A.P.T.
Atmosphere: Tense at times. DJs: Pirate DJ's need no introduction (nuf said). Alcohol: With three bars it was OK, the upstairs bar being the most accessible, the downstairs big bar is a wait you hate. The good thing is they give you your moneys worth.
People: Generally cool folks, but it takes only a few skunks to stink up the place, he only stayed half the night. The ladies were sub par, a few birdies, but no hole in one's. Threads: Wear what you like. Unrestricted!!
FINAL ANALYSIS:
I can't believe it's not Butter!! Sorry, it's not. It's leaning towards Generic-store brand.

SPINNIN 360 DEGREES TO BE BORN AGAIN

With the ever so growing popularity of positive atmosphere and superb sounds, Club Kritic ventured to 360 Degrees. We arrived not knowing that this would be the last Thursday night the Universal People would be able to gather together at the old Oasis location in S.F.
Limited to only the right side of the bar and the upstairs outdoor patio, the 100 or so people crowded in shoulder to shoulder to funk and groove to the predominately east coast old school break beats spun by Joe Quixx. This being one of the last places that you would be, "Oh shitin" and tiptoeing to see who was spinnin'--you see Joe is returning to his native New York, Queens stomping grounds. With several people from way back, Prince Ice and Kevvy Kev to name a couple, stopping in to bid Joey 5000.
The finale (at the Oasis location) was more like a private party thrown for the loyal 360 followers. As usual, the ladies were present, smellin' good and looking better. The fellows were peaceful. This is good. I spoke briefly with Javier and he expressed they will be in full effect shortly with another phat ass party in a new location soon. Keep abreast, and read CK for future details. 360 Degrees, Fashion Conscious and Chain Reaction info line: 415.605.9943

UPDATE:
They're back..... 360 Degrees, Fashion Conscious and Chain Reaction are commin' at cha' with "re-birth", Sundays at 330 Ritch. I haven't had the opportunity to attend this, so if you have, feel free to e-mail me and put me "D" to what's goin' on. We just may put it in our next issue.

COMMENTARY:
Atmosphere: Peaceful, cool.
DJ: Joe Quixx is slammin' and get this, he's back as well. This is good news for Hip Hoppers here in the Bay.
Alcohol: I can't call it for Re-birth. At Oasis, the lines are reasonable and the mixture is moderate.
People: Beautiful
Threads: No tennis shoes.
FINAL ANALYSIS:
Imperial, all the ingredients of butter without the fat, if you want some place to go with a cool vibe and good lookin' people follow the placenta and be born again.

BIRTHDAY BASH @ COVERED WAGON

Swoopo, Thunder Chimp, Boobzilla and me, what do these things have in common? Unless you were one of the chosen few who attended the Swoopo Birthday Party given for her at the Covered Wagon in S.F. you just wouldn't understand.
Stinky's Peep Show, home of the large and lovely Go-Go Dancers is something the timid should not attend. I'm not timid, I went. The person who coined "bigger is better" had to have been talking about breast. More specifically the ones on the go-go dancers at Stinky's. The dancers move slow, which goes against the music selection, but none the less, they move. With little to nothing on, dancing behind 70's doorway hanging beads you go through like entering a palm readers lair, I found my self staring at them. I wonder if the dancers subscribe to the magazine for stately people, Fat! So?
The band that played was unique, dressed in dark clothing with Ninja type masks covering their faces and coal miner lamps attached to their heads. The intro was captivating and several of their songs as well. I did not get an opportunity to speak with the members due to my attending a back-room peep show. The Swinging Udders were scheduled, but were a no show. Maybe next time. Happy birthday to Swoopo, who no one knows the age of, but there is one thing about her that everyone should know--she's crazy talented when it comes to writing and performing songs. Her being the lead vocals of the blossoming Bimbo Toolshed, will hopefully gain her world wide recognition as well as the Punk underground's best known secret that everyone is sleeping on. Bimbo Toolshed is due to release a single soon on Distinct Records. Anyway, if you have a tattoo, and you like slammin bands like Thunder Chimps, please attend. Covered Wagon Saloon * 917 Folsom @ 5th. and subscribe to Club Kritic NewsMag.

Bay Area Hip Hop Radio Shows

KALX 90.7 FM

w/Wednesday 9pm-12 midnight with Bennie B
Thursday 6pm-9pm with O Dub
Underground Hip Hop Phone 510.642.5259

KHTK 1140 AM

w/"In The Dungeon" with Frank Red Sunday 8pm until he's done Sports Talk with Hip Hopper's Prospective Phone 800.920.1140

KPFA 94.1 FM

"Pitch A Fit" with Polly Vinyl Chloride Wednesday night Thursday morning 1am-5am Punk Rock
"Friday Night Vibe" with Davey D Friday 11pm-3am Hip Hop & Special Guests
Phone 510.848.6767

KPOO 89.5 FM

This station plays Hip Hop after 10pm everyday and all throughout the weekends DJ's: Baby Girl, DJ Chill, DJ X1, J.J., K.K. Baby and Mr. Cee.
Phone 415.346.5373

KSCU 103.3 FM

Unknown at this time, call for more information.
Phone 408.248.5738

KSJS 90.5 FM

They play Hip Hop Monday-Friday from 2pm-6pm
"Chaos" spins on Friday
Phone 408.924.5757

KUSF 90.3 FM

"New Music".. Monday-Friday Midnight-6am
30 Rotating DJ's... Alternative, Skaw, Punk Rock, etc.
"Beat Sauce" with Jay Boogie...Sunday 8pm-10pm
Phone 415.386.5873

KZSU 90.1 FM

"The Drum" with Kevvy Kev... Sunday 6pm-9pm
"No Rhythm" with Raggedy Andy Sunday night, Monday morning 12 midnight-3am
"Generation Wreck" with Gemini...Tuesday 6:30pm-9pm
"Raw Essentials" with Clutch Cargo...Wednesday 12noon-3pm
"Urban Inner-city Expressions" with M Smooth...Fri 9pm-Midnight

All programs are Hip Hop Orientated

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